It is…complicated. There are moments I feel it is all in my head and then there are those moments I know it is real. It all starts with ‘hello’ and the conversation flows until the next silence and that, that is when the waiting game returns. I understand why it is as it is. In his own charming way, he did try to explain. But you see sometimes logic goes over the heart and stubbornness settles instead.
It is easy to stay mad and annoyed at him. Does not make it fair. To me. To him. To us. I walked into this aware of the risks. And as my brother once advised, “If the risk is worth it, take it.” I took it. Matters of the heart are almost always complicated. With that said, our uniqueness will be determined by how we grow from this and not the level of complicatedness. As someone once said, “I want to build something with you and you do not see it yet.” I see it now, let the building continue.
So I may or may not be a klutz. And if I am or not I reject to acknowledge the ‘foolish’ part of the definition. Politics aside, so today I woke up with a mission to get a tonn of work done. Progress and no mistakes on my mind. Sometimes, especially during hectic times, we need everything to go accordingly. No room for mistakes.
This is an imperfect world riddled with so much error. It’s still early in the morning so you can best believe that the first order of business was a train smash. And you can only imagine what that business was.
Breakfast!!!! I had a blunder eating breakfast. Breakfast!!!!
I hitched a ride with my mother to town. Since she is heading to the office and my affairs begin around ten we figured “Hey, let’s have breakfast at the office.” We have done it before. Besides, what can go wrong? Right? Hmm! Did I not spill tea on my mother’s desk. The mess!! The horror!!! Quiet frankly I have no idea how I did not cause much havoc. Luckily the papers I ruined where blank, waiting to be used. Guess you can say I liberated them from work…yes?
Besides setting her back on resurces I’m glad no important documents were destroyed. No information was ruined.
With this hanging on my head, the plan is to shake it off and keep doing best. Lesson from all this, well, relax, calm down and do best.
Ten years from today I will be thirty-three years old. Two ‘age milestones’ and numerous adventures later. Ten years is enough time to get a lot done, fulfill dreams and accomplish goals. It will not be an easy smooth ride but I would like to believe that the past twenty-three years have in some way prepared me for the next ten years. I also hope that the next ten years will gear me with more strength and skills to help me gear up for the future.
Besides being thirty-three, in the next ten years I should be financially stable enough to maintain my own home and car. Like any other person I salivate at the sight of flashy materials. But like all things that flash, they aim to outshine those closer to them. A convenient comfortable home and car is what I aim for. Because then the blessings surrounding them will be visible and reachable.
Obviously, I hope to have a job by then. The sound of being cooped in an office for eight to nine hours a day does not so sexy. You must be up at an ungodly hour, go through traffic, oh the frustration. What sounds sexy, is the idea of working from a comfortable spot in your home or multiple comfortable spots. Who needs a power suit while you can have mismatched socks, pyjama pants and one ridiculously long t-shirt. Of course, one can never escape meetings and events and well one should not. Those are worth dressing up for. This is the ideal work environment I wish to achieve in ten years. That and many published works under my name.
Most importantly, ten years from now I hope to be happy with life, the person I will have grown into and happy with my family.